TV – abbiosbiston

So a couple of weeks ago I did my top 10 doomed movie couples… because you know, I love an unhappy ending. It turns out that there are some pretty awesome doomed TV couples too though. These are my favourites.

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Joey and Pacey
Played by: Joshua Jackson and Katie Holmes
The show: Dawson’s Creek
The obstacle: Joey and Pacey’s joint best friend, Dawson, is in love with Joey and she has old residual feelings for him. They also ultimately have incompatible goals.
“Joey: You were wanting to kiss me all night?
Pacey: Yes.
Joey: Even when you were yelling at me.
Pacey: Especially when I was yelling at you.
Joey: So… is this… some sort of… recent new development in your life?
Pacey: Wanting to kiss you? No. It’s sort of always there… like… white noise, or… the secret service or the threat of nuclear war, for that matter. Just somethin’ you get used to.”

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Max and Logan
Played by: Jessica Alba and Michael Wetherly
The show: Dark Angel
The obstacle: Logan is literally unable to touch Max without dying
“Max Guevara: Logan, you’ve got nothing to be sorry for or ashamed of. It’s never been about you not being able to walk. Not for me.
Logan Cale: Will you look at us!
Max Guevara: Pathetic.
Logan Cale: Hopeless.
Max Guevara: Lucky we hooked up.
Logan Cale: Happy Anniversary.”

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Captain Jack and Ianto
Played by: John Barrowman and Gareth David-Lloyd
The Show: Torchwood
The obstacle: Captain Jack is an immortal pansexual time traveler, who isn’t much inclined for commitment but even when he does Ianto isn’t long for this world.
“Captain Jack Harkness: How are you, Ianto?
Ianto Jones: All the better for having you back, sir.
Captain Jack Harkness: Could we maybe drop the “sir” now? I mean, while I was away, I was thinking. Maybe we could, you know, when this is all done: dinner, a movie…
Ianto Jones: Are you asking me out on a date?
Captain Jack Harkness: Interested?
Ianto Jones: [scoffs] Well, as long as it’s not in an office. Some fetishes should be kept to yourself…”

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Clik here to view.“Buffy and Angel
Played by: Sarah Michelle Gellar and David Boreanaz
The show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
The obstacle: Buffy is a vampire slayer and Angel is a vampire, with a soul… one who will lose said soul if he does the dirty with her.
“Angel: It told me to kill you. You were in the dream. You know. It told me to lose my soul in you and become a monster again.
Buffy: I know what it told you. What does it matter?
Angel: Because I wanted to! Because I want you so badly. I wanna take comfort in you, and I know it’ll cost me my soul, and a part of me doesn’t care.”

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Clik here to view. tumblr_lgbbew6oWp1qbj0fio1_500 Buffy and Spike
Played by: Sarah Michelle Gellar and James Marsters
The show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
The obstacle: Poor old Buffy… just after she has finally more or less gotten over one vampire she finds herself falling for another.
“Spike: Something’s happening to me. I can’t stop thinking about you. And if that means turning my back on the whole evil thing…
Buffy: You don’t know what you mean. You don’t know what feelings are.
Spike: I damn well do. I lie awake every night.
Buffy: You sleep during the day.
Spike: Yeah, but- You are missin’ the point. This is real here. I love…
Buffy: Don’t! Don’t say it. I’m going. “

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Mulder and Scully
Played by: David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson
The show: The X-Files
The obstacle: They work together. No one wants to acknowledge their feelings. Also Mulder is so fucked up.
“Dana Scully: This stubbornness of yours, it’s why I fell in love with you.
Fox Mulder: It’s like you said. That’s why we can’t be together… “

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Clik here to view. rose-doctor-kiss The Doctor and Rose Tyler
Played by: David Tennant/Christopher Ecclestone and Billie Piper
The show: Doctor Who
The obstacle: The Doctor is a time traveler over a thousand years old carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, where Rose is a slightly chavvy human. They get stuck in alternate dimensions unable to be together without ripping apart the fabric of reality.
“The Doctor: Rose, you’ve done it, now stop.
[Rose stares straight ahead]
The Doctor: Just let go.
Rose Tyler: How can I let go of this? I bring life.
[we see Jack start breathing again and open his eyes]
The Doctor: But this is wrong! You can’t control life and death!
Rose Tyler: But I can. The sun and the moon, the day and night… but why do they hurt?
[she is crying]
The Doctor: The power’s gonna kill you and it’s my fault!
Rose Tyler: I can see everything… all that is… all that was… all that ever could be.
The Doctor: [stands up] But that’s what *I* see. All the time. And doesn’t it drive you mad?
Rose Tyler: [Rose nods, barely able to speak] My head…
The Doctor: Come here.
Rose Tyler: …is killing me.
The Doctor: I think you need a Doctor.”

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Clik here to view. eric-and-sookie-first-kiss-sookie-and-eric-14953921-500-262 Eric Northman and Sookie Stackhouse
Played by: Anna Paquin and Alexander Skarsgard
The show: True Blood
The obstacle: Eric is ultimately pretty evil and Sookie’s too scared that he’s going to drain her of all her tasty fairy blood.
“Eric Northman: [pulling her back] I use to think you had no sense of humor.
Sookie Stackhouse: I use to think you were made of cold, hard stone and empty inside.
Eric Northman: And now?
Sookie Stackhouse: [tender] You’re a big faker. You’re deep. You feel. There’s love in you.
Eric Northman: Only for Sookie.
[kissing her]
Lorena: [to Sookie] You don’t want Bill. He means nothing to you.
Sookie Stackhouse: [moving away] No.
Eric Northman: [pulling her to him] … This is the beginning.
[kissing her passionately]”

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Clik here to view. charles-bingley Mitchell and Annie
Played by: Aidan Turner and Leonora Crichlow
The show: Being Human
The obstacle: Mitchell is a vampire and Annie is a ghost. Mitchell has also been up to all kinds of terrible badness.
“Annie: Why did I hear those voices? The dead people? I never used to be able to do that.
Mitchell: You turned down death. No one’s ever done that. It’s like it opened something in you.
Annie: Like I’ve got a whole new skill set.
Mitchell: We should make an action figure of you.”

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House and Cuddy
Played by: Hugh Laurie and Lisa Edelstein
The show: House M.D.
The obstacle: Mostly it’s because House borders on being a sociopath and constantly makes Cuddy’s life a living hell
“Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You don’t take vicodin because you’re scared. You take it so you won’t feel pain… Pain happens when you care. Y-you can’t love someone without opening up to their problems – their fears. You’re not willing to do that.
Dr. Gregory House: I-I-I came to be with you.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You weren’t with me. Not really.
Dr. Gregory House: I wanted to be.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: That’s not enough.
Dr. Gregory House: I can do better.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I don’t think you can. You’ll choose yourself over everybody else because that’s who you are… I’m sorry.
Dr. Gregory House: No. No. No. No. Don’t.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I thought I could do this.
Dr. Gregory House: Don’t. Please, don’t.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: …Goodbye, House.”

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A lot is said about the magnetic power of blue eyes, which is why I did a post on my top 10 blue eyed actors a few weeks ago. However one certainly can’t dismiss the magic of a pair of soulful brown eyes, which is why I’ve decided to highlight my top 10 brown eyed actors.

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Clik here to view. Kit Harington

Kit Harington
Best role: Jon Snow in Game of Thrones
“[Women] have a tough job. They have to look wonderful all the time. It’s much easier for men.”

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Robert Downey Jr
Best role: Sherlock Holmes in Sherlock Holmes (2009) and Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011)
“A lot of my peer group think I’m an eccentric bisexual, like I may even have an ammonia-filled tentacle or something somewhere on my body. That’s okay.”

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Robert De Niro
Best role: Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver (1976)
“The hardest thing about being famous is that people are always nice to you. You’re in a conversation and everybody’s agreeing with what you’re saying — even if you say something totally crazy. You need people who can tell you what you don’t want to hear.”

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Clik here to view. Jonny Depp

Jonny Depp
Best role: Edward Scissorhands in Edward Scissorhands (1990)
“This is a rumor-filled society and if people want to sit around and talk about whom I’ve dated, then I’d say they have a lot of spare time and should consider other topics… or masturbation”

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Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Best role: Tom in (500) Days of Summer (2009)
“I’ve had a select set of really beautiful, powerful, psychedelic experiences on certain drugs but I never got into just doing it at a party: ‘Oh let’s get f-ed up and drop acid’. That’s so retarded and disrespectful to your body and the drug itself. Mushrooms, acid and ecstasy can offer you a new perspective. They can also offer you nothing.”

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Clik here to view. Idris Elba

Idris Elba
DCI John Luther in Luther
“I’d had three or four years of unemployment, not getting acting jobs. I was watching Denzel Washington and Wesley Snipes and saying, “I can do that. I can be right there with them.” My wife was about eight and a half months pregnant by the time I got the news I was going to be on “The Wire”. If I didn’t get it, I was going to leave the U.S. We knew that if I didn’t have acting work after my daughter was born we would be up shit street.”

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Clik here to view. Heath Ledger

Heath Ledger
Best role: Ennis De Mar in Brokeback Mountain (2005)
“I’m not good at future planning. I don’t plan at all. I don’t know what I’m doing tomorrow. I don’t have a day planner and I don’t have a diary. I completely live in the now, not in the past, not in the future.”

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David Tennant
Best role: The Tenth Doctor in Doctor Who
“I remember a conversation with my parents about who the people on the TV were, and learning they were actors and they acted out this story and just thinking that was the most fantastic notion, and that’s what I want to do.”

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Chiwetel Ejiofor
Best role: Solomon Northup in 12 Years a Slave (2013)
“I like to disappear into a role. I equate the success of it with a feeling of being chemically changed.”

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Clik here to view. Adrien Brody

Adrien Brody
Best role: Louis Simo in Hollywoodland (2006)
“I was a wild, mischievous kid and I had tremendous imagination. Any experience I had, I’d try to reenact it. I always had an actor within me.”

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British TV has a really strong tradition of comedy, especially of the more off the wall kind, which is really quite different from US TV comedy. Being married to a Brit, I’ve been lucky enough to be introduced to a number of older shows that I probably would have missed out on because they were on before I moved to the UK. Fortunately almost all of these shows are available on BBC, iPlayer, Netflix, 4OD or Amazon Prime for you to enjoy. These are my 10 favourites.

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The Fast Show
Years on: 1994 – 2000
Starring: Paul Whitehouse, Charlie Higson, Simon Day, Mark Williams, John Thomson, Arabella Weir and Caroline Aherne
The premise: A sketch show where most of the preamble is dispensed with and the punch line hits almost immediately.
Best character: Where do I even start? Probably the news readers from Channel 9.
Best episode: The final one where Johnny Depp visits the suit shop.
“Billy Bleach: She was half woman, half fish. Terrible in the kitchen, but a bloody good swimmer.”

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The Mighty Boosh
Years on: 2003 – 2007
Starring: Noel Fielding, Julian Barrett, Michael Fielding
The premise: The surreal adventures of best friends Vince Noir and Howard Moon
Best character: The Moon
Best episode: Call of the Yeti
“Vince Noir: [grabbing book] Look at this one!
Naboo: Don’t touch that!
Vince Noir: All right! Easy!
Naboo: This is black magic. This is hardcore. Don’t mess with the occult.
Vince Noir: I thought it was good for you.
Naboo: What?
Vince Noir: Well, you know, good for your digestive system.
Naboo: That’s Yakult!
Vince Noir: Oh, yeah…”

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Outnumbered
Years on: 2007 -2014
Starring: Hugh Dennis, Claire Skinner, Tyger Drew-Honey, Daniel Roche, Ramona Marquez
The premise: What makes this family sitcom stand out is that it’s part improvised so the kids say the most hilarious things
Best character: Karen
Best episode: Cousin Julie’s wedding
“Karen: How can you not like somebody you’ve never met?
Sue: Good point, Karen.
Karen: Yes, you should only hate people you know.
Sue: Ye… er…
Karen: Like Miss Braybrook.
Sue: But you love Miss Braybrook! She’s the reason you’re Christian!
Karen: Not any more, that’s all rubbish.
Pete: Rubbish is a bit harsh.
Karen: I don’t believe in God anymore, I’m a Satanist.
Pete: I think that’s an atheist. Satanists…do things to goats.”

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Peep Show
Years on: 2003 – 2013
Starring: David Mitchell, Robert Webb, Olivia Colman
The premise: Roommates, Jez and Mark are total opposites but somehow their friendship seems to survive all their terrible adventures, which we get to watch from both of their perspectives.
Best character: Super Hans
Best episode: Mark’s stag do
“Jez: There’s only so much happiness in the world and they’re hoarding it all!
Mark: That’s not how happiness works! (It completely is.)”

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The Morgana Show
Years on: 2010
Starring: Morgana Robinson, Tom Davis, Ninette Finch
The premise: I don’t think anyone but Paul and I watched this bonkers sketch show but I love ever moment of it
Best character: Gilbert
Best episode: All of them

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Coupling
Years on: 2000 – 2004
Starring: Jack Davenport, Gina Bellman, Sarah Alexander, Kate Isitt, Ben Miles, Richard Coyle
The premise: Six friends navigate romance, relationships and life
Best character: Jeff
Best episode: The End of the Line
“Susan: Well, you know what it’s like at the start, when they’re all fiery-eyed, and eager, and they haven’t seen you naked yet. And it’s like he’s smashing at your door with his mighty battering ram. And he’s promising to ravish you forever. So you brace yourself for man overload, and throw open the doors, and what do you find standing there? An oversized toddler who wants his dinner. And before you can say, “There’s been a terrible mistake,” he’s snoring on your sofa, the fridge is full of empty bottles and the whole place smells of feet.”

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How Not to Live Your Life
Years on: 2007 – 2010
Starring: Dan Clark, David Armand, Leila Hoffman
Premise: Dan inherits his grandmother’s house and would have a great future ahead of him if he didn’t keep making such terrible decisions.
Best character: Treacher
Best episode: Don Meets His Maker
“Don Danbury: [repeatedly during sex] Can I have my job back?
Maggie: [repeatedly] No
Don Danbury: [about to ejaculate] Can-I-have-my-job-back?
Maggie: [climaxes] Yes!
Don Danbury: So, shall I start Monday morning?
Maggie: Start what!
Don Danbury: My job, you said I can have it back!”

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Spaced
Years on: 1999 – 2001
Starring: Simon Pegg, Jessica Hynes, Nick Frost
Premise: Tim and Daisy move into a flat together where they have to pretend to be a couple… endless pop culture infused shenanigans ensue.
Best character: Marsha
Best episode: Art
“Daisy: Right, I’m going to the shops. D’you want anything?
Tim: Porn.
Daisy: Tim, I’m not going to buy you porn. You can get it from railway sidings like everybody else.
Tim: I can’t, I’m an adult. I’m supposed to leave it there.”

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Blackadder
Years on: 1983 – 1989
Starring: Rowan Atkinson, Tony Robinson, Hugh Laurie
Premise: The adventures of Blackadder and his faithful servant, Baldrick, throughout history.
Best character: Baldrick
Best episode: Beer
“Blackadder: I seek information about a Wisewoman.
Young Crone: Ah, the Wisewoman… the Wisewoman.
Blackadder: Yes, the Wisewoman.
Young Crone: Two things, my lord, must thee know of the Wisewoman. First, she is… a woman. And second, she is…
Blackadder: Wise?
Young Crone: You do know her then?
Blackadder: No, just a wild stab in the dark which is, incidentally, what you’ll be getting if you don’t start being a bit more helpful. Do you know where she lives?
Young Crone: Of course.
Blackadder: Where?
Young Crone: Here. Do you have an appointment?
Blackadder: No.
Young Crone: Well, you can go in anyway.
Blackadder: Thank you young crone. Here is a purse of moneys… which I’m not going to give to you.”

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Father Ted
Years on: 1995 – 1998
Premise: The surreal adventures of a group of priests living together on the remote Craggy Island with their housekeeper Mrs Doyle
Starring: Dermot Morgan, Ardal O’Hanlon, Frank Kelly, Pauline McLynn
Best character: Father Jack
Best Episode: A Song for Europe
“Father Dougal McGuire: I’ve never met a celebrity before.
Father Ted Crilly: You met the Pope.
Father Dougal McGuire: Did I?
Father Ted Crilly: Yes, do you not remember that time we were in Rome?
Father Dougal McGuire: That was the Pope? That old fella living in the art gallery?
Father Ted Crilly: The Vatican, Dougal! The Vatican!
Father Dougal McGuire: Still, he’s not a celebrity in the true sense of the word.
Father Ted Crilly: He’s God’s representative on Earth, Dougal!
Father Dougal McGuire: You’d think he’d be taller.
Father Ted Crilly: You mean like a giant?”

Honourable mentions: League of Gentlemen, Little Britain, The Inbetweeners, Gavin & Stacey, That Mitchell and Webb Look, The Office

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This week I have assembled a list of ten actors that I think have the potential to make it as A-list Hollywood stars in the future. Some of them have been around longer than others and some have had more exposure than others but I think they’re all a step away from mega-stardom as yet.

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Clik here to view. Ansel Engelort

Ansel Elgort
What makes him stand out?: The Fault in Our Stars would have probably completely bombed if it wasn’t for Engelort’s warmth and charm. He was also the only bearable thing about the Carrie reboot.
Recent standout roles: Gus in The Fault in Our Stars (2014)
Interesting upcoming roles: Tim Mooney in Men Women and Children (2014)
Current star rating: 50/100
“Most actors nowadays are models turned actors. That’s why a lot of young actors are terrible. You have to learn how to act. It is not something that you can just do.”

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Clik here to view. Dane DeHaan

Dane DeHaan
What makes him stand out?: He has a real intensity and isn’t afraid to take on daring, quirky roles.
Recent standout roles: Andrew Detmer in Chronicle (2012), Cricket Pate in Lawless (2012)
Interesting upcoming roles: James Dean in Life (2015)
Current star rating: 70/100
“When people recognize your work and want to reward you for what you’ve done, that’s a good feeling.”

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Clik here to view. Dylan OBrien

Dylan O’Brien
What makes him stand out?: His performance turned what would have been a mediocre adaption of a mediocre young adult nvel and made it ten times more enjoyable than it would have been without him.
Recent standout roles: Thomas in The Maze Runner (2014)
Upcoming interesting roles: Thomas in The Maze Runner: Scorch Trials (2015)
Current star rating: 20/100
“I just want to work with good filmmakers and do good projects that mean something to me and play interesting characters. That’s really it.”

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Ellar Coltrane
What makes him standout?: His central performance in Boyhood was powerful enough to carry a three-hour long film that spanned twelve years.
Recent standout roles: Mason in Boyhood (2014)
Upcoming interesting roles: He’s not got anything reported coming out but I’m sure it won’t be long.
Current star rating: 10/100
“Most of what Mason goes through is very much the story. There’s not many of his experiences that are really familiar to me. But emotionally, and psychologically – I think that’s where my input and comparison to my own life came in. Even if I hadn’t exactly experienced the things that Mason was going through, there was always a place in my life that I could compare it to.

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Clik here to view. Jack OConnell

Jack O’Connell
What makes him standout?: He always gives an absolutely raw, balls to the wall, no holds barred performance
Recent standout roles: Eric Love in Starred Up (2014), James Cook in ’71 (2014)
Interesting upcoming roles: Toby in The Man Who Killed Don Quixote
Current star rating: 45/100
“I want to create a body of work that is entertaining and speaks to people for a long time. Longer than my life span.”

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Clik here to view. Jason Clarke

Jason Clarke
What makes him standout?: He’s an unassuming actor who draws you in with his quiet power
Recent standout roles: Howard Bondurant in Lawless (2012),Malcolm in Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014)
Interesting upcoming roles: John Connor in Terminator: Genisys (2015)
Current star rating: 75/100
“I can’t complain about the roles that have come my way.”

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Clik here to view. Kit Harington

Kit Harington
What makes him standout?: He probably isn’t going to be one of the great actors of our time but there’s no doubt that the combination of soulful eyes and washboard abs is a good one in Hollywood.
Recent standout roles: Jon Snow in Game of Thrones (2011 – ), Milo in Pompeii (2014)
Interesting upcoming roles: Billy Bradley in Seventh Son (2015)
Current star rating: 55/100
“You find with the really great actors, the ones you really admire and look up to, very often they’re very giving, generous, warm people.”

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Clik here to view. Max Schnetzer

Ben Schnetzer
What makes him standout?: He is a total chameleon and completely disappears into every role he plays
Recent standout roles: Max Vandenburg in The Book Thief (2013), Mark in Pride (2014)
Interesting upcoming roles: Unknown in Warcraft (2016)
Current star rating: 15/100
“When I decided I wanted to go to drama school, I realized that a lot of the actors whose careers I really admire and whose work I really admire were English and English trained. I felt there was a real vocational feel to work in the UK.”

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Clik here to view. Oscar Isaac

Oscar Isaac
What makes him standout?: His brooding intensity.
Recent standout roles: Llewyn Davis in Inside Llewyn Davis (2013)
Interesting upcoming roles: Unknown in Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens (2015)
Current star rating: 30/100
“I think that when you decide to dedicate yourself to creative endeavors and surround yourself with people who are creative, you very quickly learn how hard it is to survive doing those kinds of things, not to mention make a living at them.”

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Evan Peters
What makes him standout?: He stole X-Men: Days of Future Past from James McAvoy, Hugh Jackman and Michael Fassbender. That’s impressive.
Recent standout roles: Various in American Horror Story (2011 -), Quicksilver in X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)
Interesting upcoming roles: Unknown in Lazarus (2015)
Current star rating: 40/100
“If you get an audition and you’re out of work, you just say, ‘I’ve gotta go on this.'”

As always with these, feel free to join in and post your picks. I’ll be doing actresses next week. (Not literally, Eric).

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It’s not surprising that some of my favourite TV characters are “bitches”. I’m talking about the ladies that take no nonsense, tell it like it as and sometimes bring a level of mean we wouldn’t be brave enough to level ourselves. More often than not it’s the bitch that steals the show and keeps us coming for me. These are the ones I love.

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April Ludgate
Played by: Aubrey Plaza
Show: Parks and Recreation (2009 – )
Bitch style: Utterly disinterested by everything and anything
Bitch level: 3/10
Favourite target: Her colleague, Jerry.
“April Ludgate: Can you Photoshop your life with better decisions, Jerry? “

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Pam De Beaufort
Played by: Kristin Bauer van Straten
Show: True Blood (2008 – 2014)
Bitch style: Blood-sucking, stone cold lesbian
Bitch level: 8/10
Favourite target: Sookie Stackhouse
“Pam De Beaufort: [to Sookie] Did I miss something? Are we girls now? Did we join a book club and read some queer chicklet memoir and now are bound together by estrogen and sisterhood or some other feminist drivel? “

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Cersei Lannister
Played by: Lena Headley
Show: Game of Thrones (2011 – )
Bitch style: Willing to do anything for power
Favourite target: Her brother, Tyrion
Bitch level: 10/10
“Cersei Lannister: [to Margaery] If you ever call me sister again, I’ll have you strangled in your sleep.”

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Sadie Saxton
Played by: Molly Tarlov
Show: Awkward. (2011 – )
Bitch style: Delivering brutal slights disguised as”helpful” advice.
Favourite target: Jenna Hamilton
Bitch level: 4/10
“Sadie: If you tell anyone I’m having this soft side moment I swear I will cut you.”

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Galina ‘Red’ Reznikov
Played by: Kate Mulgrew
Show: Orange is the New Black (2013 – )
Bitch style: Rules with an iron fist and ready to punish anyone who transgresses.
Favourite target: Varies across seasons
Bitch level: 6/10
“Galina ‘Red’ Reznikov: Because no matter how hard you try and how much we want it, there’s the people who serve the bread, and the people who eat the bread!”

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Jackie Burkhart
Played by: Mila Kunis
Show: That 70’s Show (1998 – 2006)
Bitch style: Manipulative, spoilt popular high school bitch
Favourite target: Her boyfriend, Michael.
Bitch level: 2/10
“Jackie Burkhart: Look, Eric, just write her a letter. That’s how I broke up with Michael. I was able to take my time and come up with good synonyms for… cowardly won’t-marry-me loser, run-away-to-California jackass.”

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Wilhemina Slater
Played by: Vanessa Williams
Show: Ugly Betty (2006 – 2010)
Bitch style: Controlling, brutal and always stylish
Favourite target: Everyone
Bitch level: 6/10
“Wilhelmina Slater: Look at us! Two women of color out for a fancy lunch in the town! Isn’t this fun, girlfriend?
Betty Suarez: [laughs nervously] I guess.
Wilhelmina Slater: And that blouse is heaven! Where did you get? I love it!
Betty Suarez: No you don’t!
Wilhelmina Slater: No, I don’t. It’s hideous, like driving through Ohio.”

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Karen Walker
Played by: Megan Mullally
Show: Will & Grace (1998 – 2006)
Bitch style: Self-obsessed and mostly inebriated
Favourite target: Her boss, Grace Adler
Bitch level: 7/10
“Karen Walker: Hey I have feelilngs too you know…..
[Jack and Karen both break out laughing]
Karen Walker: Dammit, I was trying to keep a straight face.”

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Fiona Goode
Played by: Jessica Lange
Show: American Horror Story (2011 – )
Bitch style: Power hungry and completely unwilling to grow old gracefully
Favourite target: Her daughter, Cordelia
Bitch level: 9/10
“Fiona Goode: Too much? Well, I don’t know. Maybe you’re right. Then here’s my other offer: You can all just die.”

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Cordelia Chase
Played by: Charisma Carpenter
Show: Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1997 – 2003)
Bitch style: Completely self-obsessed
Favourite target: Her on-off boyfriend, Xander Harris
Bitch level: 1/10
“Cordelia: People who think their problems are so huge craze me. Like this time I sort of ran over this girl on her bike. It was the most traumatizing event of my life, and she’s trying to make it about her leg! Like my pain meant nothing! “

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A few weeks ago I did a top 10 on my favourite movie psychopaths. This week I’ve decided to have a look at my most loved TV psycho- and sociopaths. In this case I have included some controversial choices, focusing on the manipulative aspect of characters with this particular pathology… hold on tight. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.

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Clik here to view. The Master

The Master
Played by: John Simm (I’m sticking with this particular incarnation)
Show: Doctor Who (2005 – )
Psycho or socio: Definitely a psychopath
Remorse: Minimal
Killer trait: Delusions of grandeur, boldness, disinhibition
“The Master: And so it came to pass that the human race fell, and the Earth was no more. And I looked down upon my new dominion as Master of all; and I thought it good.”

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Theodore “T-Bag” Bagwell
Played by: Robert Knepper
Show: Prison Break (2005 – 2009)
Psycho or socio: Total psycho
Remorse: Occasional
Killer traits: Violence, criminality and sexual deviation combined with glib charm
“Theodore “T-Bag” Bagwell: That picture makes me look like a sociopath.”

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Clik here to view. Tate

Tate Langdon
Played by: Evan Peters
Show: American Horror Story (2011 – )
Socio or psycho: The psychopath next door
Remorse: Mostly faked
Killer traits: Criminal behaviour, violence, charm, lack of empathy
“Tate Langdon: I prepare for the noble war. I’m calm, I know the secret. I know whats coming and I know no one can stop me not even myself. I kill people I like. Some of them beg for their life. I don’t feel sad. I don’t feel anything. It’s a filthy world we live, in its a filthy goddamn world and honestly I feel like I’m helping to take them away from the shit and the piss and the vomit that run through the streets. I’m helping to take them to somewhere clean. There’s something about all that blood man i drown it.”

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Clik here to view. Sherlock

Sherlock Holmes
Played by: Benedict Cumberbatch
Show: Sherlock (2010 – )
Socio or psycho: Sociopath
Remorse: For a select few
Killer traits: Lack of empathy for others, heightened sense of self, disinhibition
“Sherlock Holmes: Brilliant! Yes! Ah, four serial suicides and now a note, Oh, it’s Christmas!”

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Clik here to view. Ramsay Snow

Ramsay Snow/Bolton
Played by: Iwan Rheon
Show: Game of Thrones (2011 – )
Psycho or socio: Total psycho
Remorse: Zero
Killer traits: Violence, charisma
“Ramsay Snow: But you already told me everything, remember? Your daddy was mean to you. The Starks didn’t appreciate you. One can admit, the Stark boys. They’re still alive. Wouldn’t that be a hunt to remember. You failed, but I’m a better hunter than you. Now, how about your little finger? You don’t need that for much do you? No? Good! Let’s start with that. You’ve been wondering why you’re here, how many, where you are, who I am, why I’m doing this to you. So, guess! If your right, I’ll tell you, by the old gods and the new, I swear it. You win the game if you figure out who I am and why I’m torturing you, and I win the game if you beg me to cut off your finger.”

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Clik here to view. Lily

Lily Tucker-Pritchett
Played by: Aubrey Anderson-Emmons
Psycho or socio: Little sociopath in training
Killer traits: Manipulation, lack of empathy for others, charm, meanness
Remorse: Only for personal gain
“Sal: Sorry you couldn’t come to the wedding, it was no kids.
Lily Tucker-Pritchett: It’s okay, I’ll go to your next one.
Sal: Wow.
Cameron Tucker: She just means when she’s not a kid anymore.
Lily Tucker-Pritchett: She knows what I mean.
Sal: I don’t like you.
Lily Tucker-Pritchett: [whispering] I’ll get over it.”

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Clik here to view. Joffrey

Joffrey Baratheon
Played by: Jack Gleeson
Show: Game of Thrones (2011 – )
Psycho or socio: Psychopath
Remorse: Never
Killer traits: Sexual sadism, violence, delusions of grandeur
“Joffrey Baratheon: [announcing Eddard Stark’s sentence] My mother wishes me to let Lord Eddard join the Night’s Watch. Stripped of all titles and powers, he would serve the realm in permanent exile. And my Lady Sansa has begged mercy for her father. But they have the soft hearts of women. So long as I am your king, treason shall never go unpunished. Sir Ilyn, bring me his head! “

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Clik here to view. Dexter

Dexter Morgan
Played by: Michael C. Hall
Show: Dexter (2006 – 2013)
Psycho or socio: Conscious psychopath
Remorse: Constant
Killer traits: Violence, criminal behaviour, lack of empathy
“Dexter Morgan: People fake a lot of human interactions, but I feel like I fake them all, and I fake them very well. That’s my burden, I guess.”

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Clik here to view. Delphone La Laurie

Madame Delphine LaLaurie
Played by: Kathy Bates
Show: American Horror Story (2011 – )
Psycho or socio: Complete psychO
Remorse: Occasional
Killer traits: Sadism, lack of empathy, violence, disinhibition, charm
“Madame Delphine LaLaurie: I fairly swoon when I see the look of terror register on a handsome face. It makes me feel young again.”

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Eric Cartman
Voiced by: Trey Parker
Show: South Park (1997 – )
Psycho or socio: Impressively sociopathic
Remorse: Only for benefit
Killer traits: lack of empathy, criminal behaviour, superficial charm, manipulation, disinhibition
“Eric Cartman: I… I can’t live like this. I have to find a place where they remove living souls from your body… “

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Recently I have become a bit obsessed with The Bridge, a Swedish/Danish crime series that features a detective called Saga Noren, who may or may not have Asperger’s syndrome and is able to see connections that no one else can… but she’s also a bit of a social challenge. Watching Saga’s unusual behaviour onscreen made me think of some other genius characters I love who have… issues… and so this rather unusual list was born.

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Clik here to view.Sherlock Holmes
Played by: Benedict Cumberbatch
Show: Sherlock (2010 – )
Area of genius: Photographic memory, abilities of deduction
Flaws: Using others for his own purposes, destructive behaviour when bored, reveling in any crime he finds entertaining, complete lack of tact
“Sherlock Holmes: Dear God, what is it like in your funny little brains? It must be so boring!”

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Dr Sheldon Cooper
Played by: Jim Parsons
Show: The Big Bang Theory (2007 – )
Area of genius: Physics
Flaws: Seeing himself as the centre of the universe and demanding that everyone else comply
“Sheldon: But then some poor woman is going to pin her hopes on my sperm, what if she winds up with a toddler that doesn’t know if he should use an integral or a differential to solve for the area under a curve?
Leonard: I’m sure she’ll still love him.
Sheldon: I wouldn’t.”
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Clik here to view.Seven of Nine
Played by: Jeri Ryan
Show: Star Trek: Voyager (1995 – 2001)
Area of genius: Astrophysics
Flaws: Relating to others, being overly literal
“B’Elanna Torres: [reading Seven’s study of her and Tom from a PADD] ‘Stardate 52647, 1400 hours: Subjects quarrel in corridor outside female’s quarters. Male returns with twelve flowering plant stems, species rosa rubifolia, effecting a cessation of hostilities. Stardate 52648, 0300 hours: Intimate relations resume.’ – How the hell do you know when we’re having intimate relations?
Seven of Nine: There is no one on deck nine, section twelve, who *doesn’t* know when you’re having intimate relations.”

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Saga Noren
Played by: Sofia Helin
Show: The Bridge (2011 – )
Area of genius: Making connections between events
Flaws: Saying everything that pops into her head, ignoring social norms, being overly literal
“Saga Noren: Very few women fantisise about small penises.”

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Clik here to view.Dr Spencer Reid
Played by: Matthew Gray Gubler
Show: Criminal Minds (2005 – )
Area of genius: Photographic memory, making connections between things
Flaws: Making connections with others, being overly literal
“Special Agent Derek Morgan: So tell me, what does keep young Dr. Reid awake at night? Wait, let me guess. Memorizing some obscure textbook? No, no, no. Working on cold fusion? No, I got it, I got it, I got it. Watching Star Trek and laughing at all the physics mistakes?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Actually, there aren’t that many scientific errors in Star Trek, especially considering how long ago it was made. There are certain improbabilities, but not that many outright errors.
Special Agent Derek Morgan: Right.”

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Clik here to view.Dr Gregory House
Played by: Hugh Lawrie
Show: House M.D. (2005 – 2012)
Area of genius: Medical diagnoses
Flaws: Lack of empathy for anyone, excessive drug use
“Dr. James Wilson: Your real fear is me having a good relationship.
Dr. Gregory House: Yes, it keeps me up at night. That and the Loch Ness Monster, global warming, evolution, other fictional concepts.”

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Clik here to view.Floki
Played by: Gustaf Skarsgård
Show: Vikings (2012 – )
Area of genius: Boat building and just generally being ahead of his time
Flaws: Being away with the fairies, talking in riddles, taking crazy risks.
“King Horik: Floki, you have betrayed the gods.
Floki: No, King Horik. I only betrayed you.”

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Clik here to view. Walter whitw
Walter White
Played by: Bryan Cranston
Show: Breaking Bad (2008 – 2013)
Area of genius: Chemistry
Flaws: No knowing when to stop, egomania
“Declan: Who the hell are you?
Walter White: You know. You all know exactly who I am. Say my name.
Declan: Do what? I don’t… I don’t have a damn clue who the hell you are.
Walter White: Yeah, you do. I’m the cook. I’m the man who killed Gus Fring.
Declan: Bullshit. Cartel got Fring.
Walter White: Are you sure?
[Declan looks at Mike and Mike shakes his head]
Walter White: That’s right. Now, say my name.
Declan: [quietly] Heisenberg.
Walter White: You’re goddamn right.”

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Clik here to view. Carrie Mathison

Carrie Mathison
Played by: Clare Danes
Show: Homeland (2011 – )
Area of genius: Intuition, making connections
Flaws: Mania, general lack professionalism, not knowing when to stop
“Carrie Mathison: [Saul and Estes question the validity of an asset’s intel] It’s not lost on me why people don’t trust my judgment. Why you didn’t even want me here.
Saul Berenson: Carrie…
Carrie Mathison: It’s not fair, I know, for you to have to be the one to decide.
[Carrie starts to cry]
Carrie Mathison: It fucked me up, Saul. Being wrong about Brody, it really… it fucked me up. Because I have never been so sure… and so wrong. And it’s that fact that I still can’t get my head around. It makes me unable to trust my own thoughts. Every time I think I see something clearly now… it just disappears.
[Carrie takes a moment to calm down]
Carrie Mathison: We have a chance to get Abu Nazir.
Saul Berenson: I know you want to think that. I won’t risk American lives on a hunch.
Carrie Mathison: And I would not ask you to. I recruited her, Saul, right here in this city. And it’s been eight years. I know… I know a lot of things can change. But I helped her through an abusive domestic situation. I practically saved her life. And I remember… I remember knowing at the time… that one day… she would be ready to leave here… and when that time came, she would be on my side. Look, the… the way I am now, I wouldn’t trust me, either. But the Carrie who recruited her… that one I believe. “

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Clik here to view. Moss

Maurice Moss
Played by: Richard Ayoade
Show: The IT Crowd (2006 – 2013)
Area of genius: Inventions
Flaws: Inability to actually take care of humself, understanding social conventions
“Moss: I wanna go back to being weird. I like being weird. Weird’s all I got. That, and my sweet sweet style.”

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I promise this blog is not going to become nothing but an ode to RuPaul’s Drag Race… although that would be an honour… but I do want to do one more post about this incredibly awesome show before I move on to other topics. Since I haven’t managed to get my hands on any of the season seven episodes I am using this as a way to deal with my desperate withdrawal symptoms. While last week was all about fabulosity, this week is all about the epic battles that went on in every season, which were just as exciting as the actual competition itself.

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Alyssa Edwards vs Jade Jolie
Season: 5
The beef: Initially Alyssa and Jade bonded but when Alyssa didn’t pick Jade for a challenge, Jade very quickly turned on her… mentioning that her back rolls didn’t look too “cute” in one of her outfits.
Aggression level: 2/10
Winner: Alyssa.
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Darienne Lake vs BenDeLaCreme
Season: 6
The beef: Darienne felt like Ben was a little too proud of her victories in the challenges and her bitterness soon showed. The two were forced to work together several times and it never ended well.
Aggression level: 5/10
Winner: Darienne
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Clik here to view.Tatiana vs Tyra Sanchez
Season: 2
The beef: Both of these girls kind of had a problem with everyone but none more than each other who they constantly accused of being rude. Things came to a head during the wedding challenge and carried on all the way to reunited.
Aggression level: 8/10
Winner: Tyra

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Roxxxxy Andrews vs JInkx Monsoon
Season: 5
The beef: Roxxxy constantly accused Jinkx of playing the victim and making a joke out of drag not getting her comedy style of performance, criticising her relentlessly.
Aggression level: 4/10
Winner: Roxxxy Andrews

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Rebecca Glasscock vs the World
Season: 1
The beef: Never has a queen been so universally hated by all her competitors. No one wanted to work with Rebecca who was accused of relying on pretty, looking down on everyone and being unpolished.
Aggression level: 6/10
Winner: Rebecca… she never gave two shits what anyone thought of her

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Heathers vs Boogers
Season: 3
The beef: The self proclaimed “pretty girls” (Heathers) banded together against the girls that decided were less attractive (Boogers) and things soon became very high school. With sub feuds between different clique members breaking out all over the place. Eventually some peace was forged when winner, Raja, offered plus size queen, Stacey her Heathers necklace.
Aggression level: 7/10
Winner: Heathers

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PhiPhi O’Hara vs Sharon Needles
Season: 4
The beef: Confirmed pageant girl, PhiPhi immediately hated Sharon’s unique Gothy take on drag but that didn’t stop her from taking credit for one of Sharon’s challenge wins. And Sharon certainly wasn’t afraid of criticising PhiPhi on the runway. Insults flew from start to finished and the two never developed any kind of appreciation for each other.
Aggression level: 9/10
Winner: Sharon Needles

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Laganja Estranga vs Adore Delano
Season: 6
The beef: Although Laganja and Adore arrived as friends things soon turned sour. Laganja somehow took offence to something she thought that Adore maybe said that she couldn’t remember but really it was more about the fact that the judges loved Adore and didn’t get Laganja’s bizarre way of talking. It probably didn’t help that Adore called her out on it. #yesgawd
Aggression level: 1/10
Winner: Adore Delano

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Courtney Act vs Joslyn Fox
Season: 6
The beef: Joslyn idolised Courtney until she had to work with her at which point Courtney broke Joslyn’s sweet little heart but constantly, bluntly criticising her, even referring to her as a cut price Courtney Act
Aggression level: 3/10
Winner: Courtney Act

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Alyssa Edwards vs Coco Montrese
Season: 5
The beef: Coco and Alyssa go way back after Coco had to take over Alyssa’s reign as Miss Gay America when Alyssa couldn’t fulfill her obligations. They hadn’t spoken for two years and there was no love lost when they found themselves once again competing. The two constantly ended up having to work together and the fur flew on several occasions ending in an explosive lip sych for their lives.
Aggression level: 10/10
Winner: Coco Montrese

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After the success of my post about female movie characters who kick ass I decided to follow up with a TV version since TV has also given us some pretty tough female characters although I would argue that we definitely need loads more. Again I am focusing on characters who physically kick ass.

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Clik here to view. Brenne

Brienne of Tarth
Show: Game of Thrones (2011 – )
Played by: Gwendoline Christie
Special skills: Swordplay, tenacity, loyalty
Ass kicking level: 7/10
“Jaime Lannister: I hope you’re pleased. If you had armed me, they would never have taken us.
Brienne of Tarth: You were armed when we were taken.
Jaime Lannister: I was in chains if you recall. Our little match would have ended quite quick if my hands weren’t bound.
Brienne of Tarth: All my life I’ve been hearing, “Jaime Lannister, what a brilliant swordsman.” You were slower than I expected. And more predictable…
Jaime Lannister: I’ve been sitting in a muddy pen wrapped in chains for the past year.
Brienne of Tarth: And I’m a woman. I was still beating you.
Jaime Lannister: You were not beating me.
Brienne of Tarth: Maybe you were as good as people said… once. Or maybe people just love to overpraise a famous name.”

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Clik here to view. Buffy

Buffy Summers
Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997 – 2003)
Played by: Sarah Michelle Gellar
Special skills: Martial arts, turning anything into a weapon, speed
Ass kicking level: 10/10
“Buffy: I hate this. I hate being here. I hate that you have to be here. I hate that there’s evil and that I was chosen to fight it. I wish a whole lot of the time that I hadn’t been. I know a lot of you wish I hadn’t been, either. This isn’t about wishes. This is about choices. I believe we can beat this evil. Not when it comes. Not when its army is ready. Now. Tomorrow morning, I’m opening the seal. I’m going down into the Hellmouth and I am finishing this once and for all. Right now, you’re asking yourself what makes this different. What makes us anything more than a bunch of girls being picked off one by one? It’s true. None of you have the power that Faith and I do. So here’s the part where you make a choice.”

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Clik here to view. Gwen Cooper

Gwen Cooper
Show: Torchwood (2006 – 2011)
Played by: Eve Myles
Special skills: Investigation, firearms
Ass kicking level: 5/10
“Owen Harper: Make yourself useful, sweetheart, pass us the big chisel from the toolbox.
Gwen Cooper: It’s Gwen, not sweetheart. One syllable, I’m sure you can manage it.
Owen Harper: Not sweet cheeks, then? New girl?
Gwen Cooper: Shame your tool’s not big enough for the job.”

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Clik here to view. Lagertha

Lagertha
Show: Vikings (2013 – )
Played by: Katheryn Winnick
Special skills: Swordplay, wielding a shield, military strategy
Ass kicking power: 8/10
“Lagertha: If any harm befalls my children, I will tear the lungs out of your body, priest.”

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Clik here to view. Martha Jones

Martha Jones
TV Shows: Doctor Who (2005 – ), Torchwood (2006 – 2011)
Played by: Freema Agyeman
Special skills: Military training, firearms
Ass kicking power: 4/10
“Martha Jones: I travelled across the world. From the ruins of New York, to the fusion mills of China, right across the radiation pits of Europe. And everywhere I went I saw people just like you, living as slaves! But if Martha Jones became a legend then that’s wrong, because my name isn’t important. There’s someone else. The man who sent me out there, the man who told me to walk the Earth. And his name is The Doctor. He has saved your lives so many times and you never even knew he was there. He never stops. He never stays. He never asks to be thanked. But I’ve seen him, I know him… I love him… And I know what he can do.”

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Clik here to view. Max Guevara

Max Guevara
TV Show: Dark Angel (2000 – 2002)
Special skills: Speed, strength
Ass kicking power: 8/10
“Max Guevara: I’ll take him on
AA Man: ladies and gentleman we have a new challenger
Alec: what the hell are you doing?
Max Guevara: I told you to take a dive. Now i’m gonna have to beat your ass myself.
Alec: what do you have against me making money?
AA Man: [To Max] What’s your name cupcake?
Alec: She doesn’t have a name. You know what? she’s not here. she’s not fighting.
Max Guevara: Oh, yes i am
AA Man: Ladies, and Gentlemen, in this corner, hailing from parts unknown, let’s hear it for the curvaceous killer”

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Clik here to view. Michonne

Michonne
TV Show: The Walking Dead (2010 – )
Played by: Danai Gurira
Special skills: Samurai sword
Ass kicking power: 8/10
“Rick Grimes: Do you miss the sword?
Michonne: Wasn’t really mine in the first place. Found it in the very beginning.
Rick Grimes: How’d you get so good?
Michonne: It was just me and them out here all day, every day a good long time. I don’t know what that was, but it wasn’t life. Not like today. Stumbling around in three feet of slime for some peas and carrots, that’s living. I miss Andrea. I miss Hershel.
Rick Grimes: Yeah.
Michonne: I don’t miss what was before. I don’t miss that sword.”

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Clik here to view. Prentice

Emily Prentiss
Show: Criminal Minds (2005 – )
Played by: Paget Brewster
Special skills: Psychological profiling, firearms, disguise
Ass kicking power: 4/10
“Aaron “Hotch” Hotchner: Prentiss, this is the job, and I need to know that you can be objective.
Emily Prentiss: And I need to know that I can be human.”

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Clik here to view. River Tam

River Tam
Show: Firefly (2002 – 2003)
Played by: Summer Glau
Special skills: Hand-to-hand combat, talking in riddles
Ass kicking power: 7/10
“River: I don’t belong… dangerous like you. Can’t be controlled… can’t be trusted. Everyone could just go on without me and not have to worry. People could be who they wanted to be, could be with the people they wanted. Live simple. No secrets.
Simon: No…
River: I’ll be fine. I’ll be your bounty, Jubal Early. And I’ll just fade away.”

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Clik here to view. Xena

Xena
Show: Xena: Warrior Princess (1995 – 2001)
Played by: Lucy Lawless
Special skills: Swordplay, speed, strength
Ass kicking power: 9/10
“Gabrielle: Another one’s fallen for you.
Xena: Again? What is it?
Gabrielle: Oh, the blue eyes… the leather. Men love leather.
Xena: I think it’s time for a wardrobe change.
Gabrielle: Yeah. You could try wearing chainmail.
Xena: Nah. That’d just attract a kinkier group.”

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Last month we had great TV moms in honour of mother’s day so of course today we’re honouring all the amazing dads out there on father’s day with a post about great TV dads. I am lucky to have two awesome dads in my life – my own father, Jules and my father-in-law, Alan who are both great role models while also being an enormous amount of fun. Happy father’s day to both of you and all the other great dads out there.

[MILD GOT SPOILER ALERT]: When I was preparing this list I initially had Stannis Baratheon on it. Last Monday I had to very quickly edit that for obvious reasons.

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Clik here to view. Burt Hummel

Burt Hummel
Played by: Mike O’Malley
Show: Glee (2009 – 2015)
Dad to: Kurt
Special dad skills: Understanding, overcoming his own prejudices… the Single Ladies dance
“Kurt Hummel: Dad. I have something that I want to say. I’m glad that you’re proud of me. But I don’t want to lie anymore. Being a part of the Glee Club and football has really shown me that I can be anything, and what I am, is, I’m gay.
Burt Hummel: I know.
Kurt Hummel: Really?
Burt Hummel: I’ve known since you were three. All you wanted for your birthday was a pair of sensible heels. I guess I’m not totally in love with the idea, but, if that’s who you are, there’s nothing I can do about it. And I love you just as much. Ok?
[They hug]
Burt Hummel: Thanks for telling me Kurt.
[He starts to go]
Burt Hummel: You sure, right?
Kurt Hummel: Yeah Dad, I’m sure.
Burt Hummel: I’m just checking.”

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Clik here to view. Frank Costanza

Frank Costanza
Played by: Jerry Stiller
Show: Seinfeld (1989 – 1998)
Father to: George
Special dad skills: Shouting, weird theories
“Estelle Costanza: Georgie, would you like some Jello?
Frank Costanza: Why do you put the bananas in there?
Estelle Costanza: George likes the bananas!
Frank Costanza: SO LET HIM HAVE BANANAS ON THE SIDE!”

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Clik here to view. Martin Rodhe

Martin Rohde
Played by: Kim Bodnia
Show: The Bridge (2011 – )
Father to: August and four others whose names I honestly can’t find
Special dad skills: Fighting for his kids, detective skills

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Clik here to view. Marty Crane

Marty Crane
Played by: John Mahoney
Show: Frasier (1993 – 2004)
Dad to: Frasier and Niles
Special dad skills: Delivering earthy wisdom, bringing his sons down to earth
“Frasier: My study? You expect me to give up my study, the place where I read, where I do my most profound thinking?
Martin: Ah, use the can like the rest of the world!”

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Clik here to view. Phil Dunphy

Phil Dunphy
Played by: Ty Burrell
Show: Modern Family (2009 – )
Dad to: Hayley, Alex and Luke
Special dad skills: Finding the fun in everything, making up weird sayings
“Luke Dunphy: [after Alex spills sugar on the floor] I’ll eat it for a dollar.
Phil Dunphy: Luke, what have I told you about doing things for money?
Luke Dunphy: If you charge more, they’ll think you’re worth it.
Phil Dunphy: Right. That’s worth at least five.”

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Clik here to view. Red Forman

Red Forman
Played by: Kurtwood Smith
Show: That 70’s Show (1998 – 2006)
Dad to: Laurie and Eric
Special dad skills: Appearing to be a total hardass but actually always being there for his kids
“Reginald “Red” Forman: What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you always so damn nervous?
Eric Forman: Oh, hmm, I don’t know, maybe it’s because you’ve been yelling at me for seventeen years?”

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Clik here to view. Rufus Humphrey

Rufus Humphrey
Played by: Matthew Settle
Show: Gossip Girl (2007 – 2012)
Dad to: Dan and Jenny
Special dad skills: Making pancakes, listening
“Rufus Humphrey: Guess whos dad is cool!
Jenny Humphrey: It’s a trick-question.
Dan Humphrey: Yeah, cos it can’t be ours.”

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Clik here to view. Tony Soprano

Tony Soprano
Played by: James Gandolfini
Show: The Sopranos (1999 – 2007)
Dad to: A.J. and Meadow
Special dad skills: Trying to protect his children from his life
“Meadow Soprano: Are you in the Mafia?
Tony Soprano: Am I in the what?
Meadow Soprano: Whatever you want to call it. Organized crime.
Tony Soprano: That’s total crap, who told you that?
Meadow Soprano: Dad, I’ve lived in the house all my life. I’ve seen the police come with warrants. I’ve seen you going out at three in the morning.
Tony Soprano: So you never seen Doc Cusamano going out at three in the morning on a call?
Meadow Soprano: Did the Cusamano kids ever find $50,000 in krugerrandts and a .45 automatic while they were hunting for Easter eggs?
Tony Soprano: I’m in the waste management business. Everybody immediately assumes you’re mobbed up. It’s a stereotype. And it’s offensive. And you’re the last person I would want to perpetuate it… There is no Mafia.
Meadow Soprano: Fine.
Tony Soprano: Alright look, Mead, you’re a grown woman, almost. Some of my money comes from illegal gambling and whatnot. How does that make you feel?
Meadow Soprano: At least you don’t keep denying it, like Mom. Kids in school think it’s actually kinda neat.
Tony Soprano: They seen “The Godfather”, right?
Meadow Soprano: Not really. “Casino” we like, Sharon Stone, the 70’s clothes, pills…
Tony Soprano: I’m not asking about those bums. I’m asking about you.
Meadow Soprano: Sometimes I wish you were like other dads. But then, like… Mr. Scangarelo for example? An advertising executive for big tobacco. Or lawyers? So many dads are full of shit.
Tony Soprano: Oh, and I’m not.
Meadow Soprano: You finally told the truth about this.
Tony Soprano: Look, Mead, part of my income comes from legitimate businesses, stock market…
Meadow Soprano: Look, Dad, please, okay? Don’t start mealy-mouthing.”

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Clik here to view. Uncle Phil

Philip Banks
Played by: James Avery
Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel Air (1990 – 1996)
Dad to: Carlton, Hilary, Ashley and Nicky
Special dad skills: Accepting others into his family, being inspiring, encouraging his kids to do great things
“Will: I’m a joker. I play around. I have fun.
Phillip Banks: Mm-hmm. Being a joker’s what’s gotten you into trouble. You may think it’s cool to be on the streets when you’re 17, but when you’re my age, it’s a waste.
Will: I-I can’t think that far ahead.
Phillip Banks: That’s your problem. You can’t take anything seriously.
Will: Hey look, man, I don’t have the problem, all right. YOU have the problem. I remind you of who you are and what you used to be. Now I don’t know, somewhere between Princeton and the office, you got soft. You forgot who you are and where you came from.
Phillip Banks: You think you’re so wise.
[Will looks away from Phillip]
Phillip Banks: Look at me when I’m talking to you. Let me tell you something, son. I grew up on the streets just like you. I encountered bigotry you could not imagine. Now you have a nice poster of Malcolm X on your wall. I heard the brother speak. I read every word he wrote. Believe me, I KNOW where I come from!
Will: You actually heard Malcolm speak?
Phillip Banks: That’s right. So before you criticize someone, you find out what he’s all about.”

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Clik here to view. Ned Stask

Ned Stark
Played by: Sean Bean
Show: Game of Thrones (2011 – )
Dad to: Robb, Sansa, Arya, Bran, Rickon and Jon
Special dad skills: Honour, discipline, respect
“Eddard Stark: You understand why I did it?
Bran Stark: Jon said he was a deserter.
Eddard Stark: But do you understand why I had to kill him?
Bran Stark: Our way is the old way?
Eddard Stark: The man who passes the sentence should swing the sword.
Bran Stark: Is it true he saw the White Walkers?
Eddard Stark: The White Walkers have been gone for thousands of years.
Bran Stark: So he was lying.
Eddard Stark: A madman sees what he sees.”

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A while ago thepunktheory from Le Cinéma en Rose tagged me to join in a TV series blogathon adapted from a book blog tag related to FRIENDS… I have been a bit rubbish lately at blogathons and guest posts lately so it’s taken me forever to get to this but here goes. Finally!

The One where Eddie Won’t Go – a character I wish would just go away:

I used to be a really big Doctor Who fan. Over the last three or four series my great love affair with The Doctor has died. I put that down largely to overly complex story arcs and questionable writing but one of the biggest reasons I lost interest was The Doctor’s most recent companion, Clara. Every single thing about her irritated me. I kept hoping the Tardis was going to land on her and squash her!

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The One where Ross and Rachel Take a Break – favorite break up scene:

I recently rewatched a lot of Buffy and Buffy and Angel’s forbidden relationship still totally rips me apart. Watching them break up not because they had fallen out of love but because there was no other way was absolutely devastating and probably one of the most emotionally resonant scenes in the show.

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The One with all the Kissing – a TV show with lots of “kissing”:

There are a lot more raunchy shows on TV now than there were when I was growing up but right now I am going to go for Game of Thrones especially Jon Snow and Ygritte those two were so hot together.

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The Last One – favorite series finale:

Man, that’s a tough one but I am going to go with The Office Season 2 where Jim confesses his feelings to Pam. It was such an epic cliffhanger and it felt like everything in the previous two seasons had been building up to it.

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The One with a Blackout – a show or season I’d like to forget:

Criminal Minds used to be Mr O and my go to show when we didn’t know what else to watch. It had great characters and such compelling story lines but right around season 9 the wheels fell off and by season 10 we’d given up. It just felt like things had gotten stale, they were recycling ideas and they were expecting me to believe Jennifer Love Hewitt could be a psychologist. So we stopped watching. I still miss Reid though.

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The One where Chandler can’t Cry – a show that did not make you as emotional as others:

I tried to watch Supernatural but I just don’t get it. It’s the kind of thing I would normally go for but it never clicked for me and I couldn’t manage more than a few episodes here and there.

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The One with the Thumb – a recent show that you would give two thumbs up to:

I heard a lot of buzz around Daredevil before I watched it and in my experience when there’s a lot of hype it’s often very unfounded and I end up disappointed but this show absolutely blew me away. It deserves all the praise it gets and I am so ready for season 2.

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The One with the Ick Factor – a show with a pet peeve:

Mr O and I are big Friends fans so we recently bought ourselves the box set as a treat and then watched all nine seasons from beginning to end. It was only at this rewatch that I realised just how many homophobic and transphobic jokes there are in the series. I get that the show finished over a decade ago but it really jars for me and I wish that those jokes would just go away.

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The One with the Lesbian Wedding – favorite LGBTQ character in a TV show:

I love Sophia Burset in Orange is the New Black. I think the character is teaching people so much about transgenderism and the challenges that go with it. Plus she’s a total badass ass as well as being so incredibly likable.

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Security operative, Eve Polastri (Sandra Oh) is bored with her desk job and desperate to be a “real spy”. After unofficially following up on an assassination case she believes was committed by a woman Eve gets herself fired. However she’s come to the attention of a senior operative (Fiona Shaw) who seconds her to further the investigation.

Meanwhile, Villanelle (Jodie Corner) uses her chic Paris apartment as a base to take on international assassination jobs, something she enjoys rather too much. When she discovers that there is a woman heading up a whole team to find her, she is fascinated.

Soon the two women are involved in a game of cat and mouse, fuelled by their obsession with each other. As both dig deeper into the organisations that employ them they start to suspect that they might be working for the same people.

I am not going to tell you much more about this series because the less you know, the more of a wild ride it is, and boy is it a wild ride. it’s dark, disturbing, weird and absolutely fucking hilarious.

Eve and Villanelle are both such interesting characters and played remarkably well by both Sandra Oh and Jodie Corner. It’s rare we get such complex, interesting female characters. It is doubly rare when their motivations are not “romantic” in nature. Eve is ambitious, ruthless and rebellious but also warm, funny and loyal. Villanelle on the other hand is a cunning, creative sociopath, so charming it is impossible not to fall for her.

The supporting performances are equally enjoyable. Fiona Shaw is brilliant as the fearless, eccentric Carolyn, who is not afraid to use her feminine wiles to her advantage… even in her 60’s. Kim Bodnia is magnetic as Villanelle’s brutal yet enigmatic and sweet handler, Konstantin. And David Haig brings a lot of heart to Eve’s partner and best friend, Bill. Their friendship is one of the best things about the series.

Frankly, I loved every second of it and I cannot wait for the next season especially as it ended on such a mega cliff hanger.

5/5

Owen Milgrim (Jonah Hill) suffers from Schizophrenia, which has left him on the outer edges of his wealthy family. His only hope of redeeming himself is by agreeing to provide an alibi for his brother Jed (Billy Magnussen) in a court case against him that could potentially ruin the family business. After losing his job and unwilling to take assistance from his parents, Owen decides to participate in a mysterious medical trial to make some money.

Here he meets Annie (Emma Stone), who has lied her way onto the trial because she has been experimenting with one of the drugs being tested and is addicted to its effects. Owen immediately feels they have a connection and as they begin to experience the phases of the trial they find their experiences joined together in an unexpected way.

Meanwhile the artificial intelligence guiding the trial is deeply depressed following the death of Dr Muramoto (Rome Kando) the its lead researcher. This means Dr Fujita (Sonoya Mizuno) will have to get her disgraced former colleague, Dr Mantleray (Justin Theroux) back on board, which isn’t without complexities.

I am not really sure how to describe Maniac, because it is absolutely bonkers. The first odd thing is the setting. It is obviously present time but in a parallel universe where technology has develop differently to ours. There are no mobile phones and the computers look like they’re from the 80s but at the same time complex VR is possible. There is also a feeling that the ruling cultural influence on society is Japan despite it being in a US setting and the type of advertising happening is even more pervasive than we are used to.

Then there’s the fact that Owen, Annie and the other trial participants experience multiple other realities and identities as they work through the issues that are impacting their lives. Because these realities and interactions have a dreamlike quality that can be extremely surreal, which could be a challenge to some viewers.

Director, Cary Joji Fukunaga is unquestionably influenced by Wes Anderson, which means there are moments of almost “overacting” from some of the actors, especially Theroux, and the set design sometimes feels so big and intense it’s like an extra character.

It is definitely not going to be for everyone. In fact I can imagine that many people will flat out hate it and see it as a jumbled mess. Personally I absolutely loved it. I thought it was a fascinating and insightful look into mental health, trauma and how human beings are impacted and affected by the things that they experience. I was sucked into Owen and Annie’s journey and I could identify with a lot of what they went through as someone who is currently on medication for mental health issues and who has been through multiple bouts of therapy.

There are so many layers of symbolism at play that I could write six blogs about it (I won’t) and I feel like I could watch it over and over and get something different from it every time.

On top of this there is an outstanding cast that gives really compelling performances. Hill completely embodies the softly spoken, fragile Owen but also manages a chameleon-like transformation into the other identities he explores. Stone is also really engaging as Annie, who hides her broken heart behind an angry defensive façade and the two have great chemistry. They are rounded out by a strong supporting cast with Sally Field stealing every scene she’s in.

I wasn’t 100% on board with the sequence where Owen becomes an Icelandic diplomat and Annie is an ass kicking CIA agent but this was a small blip in what for me was something really special.

If this sounds like your kind of thing, then watch it… you’ll love it. If any of this sounds potentially too weird or deep then avoid like the plague.

4.5/5

I am old enough to remember the first television outing of the Archie comic, Sabrina, The Teenage Witch. It was a sitcom that involved a half witch-half mortal teenage girl who lived with her aunts and her talking cat and got herself into funny, sticky situations involving magic. The new version in no way resembles the old version apart from a few character names. Some viewers are finding this a very hard transition. I am not one of them

The new version sees Sabrina (Kiernan Shipka) on the eve of her sixteenth birthday preparing to sign the Book of the Beast that will pledge her life to Satan and leave her mortal life behind. It’s a time honoured tradition and supposed to be nothing more than symbolic. Sabrina has doubts though. She’s not that keen on leaving behind her beloved mortal boyfriend, Harvey (Ross Lynch) or her friends nor is she keen on promising to do whatever the Dark Lord bids her to.

Sabrina’s failure to comply sends the Church of Night as well as the aunts that have raised Sabrina since her parents’ death, into a tailspin. Meanwhile Sabrina’s history teacher Ms Wardwell (Michelle Gomez) has returned from a late night changed and very interested in Sabrina’s life, a young man has been killed, ostensibly by witch hunters and Sabrina’s mortal friends are wrestling with various problems of their own. As Sabrina deals with not only the usual teenage problems of growing up, she’s also trying to keep her witch life a secret from her mortal friends and survive being “harrowed” by her witch classmates.

I’ll be very honest and say I absolutely loved Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. It reminded me a lot of early Buffy, which can only be a good thing. It is also really, really dark and gory, like American Horror Story levels of dark. If you feel a bit weird about anything that would be considered “sacrilegious”, look away immediately.

There are some excellent performances, especially from the female actors. Michelle Gomez destroys every scene she is in and she is obviously eating up playing Ms Wardwell. At the same time Lucy Davis and Miranda Otto are amazing as the very different Aunts and Kiernan Shipka manages to hold her own with such incredible talent. Sabrina is tough and ruthless but also vulnerable, funny and kind. Alongside the strong female performances, Chance Perdomo is deliciously naughty as Sabrina’s housebound cousin, Ambrose and Richard Coyle is wonderfully creepy as Father Blackwood, the Church of Night’s high priest.

If that wasn’t enough there are some really interesting very current themes being explored from the patriarchy to gender identity to family relationships and rape culture. I have seen many reviews saying the show is too political but fuck that, life is political. If you want to watch stuff that won’t make you think then I’m sure there is plenty of Fox News available.

The only thing I didn’t love was the very ending. I think it might make more sense as a set up for the next season but I was slightly disappointed. Possibly that was more because I was sad there wasn’t any more to watch.

4.5/5

A couple of years after the DI Gates controversy, AC-12 has moved on and Dot Cottan (Craig Parkinson) is now the team’s DI. When a protected witness is killed in an explosion during a transfer, it initially seems like a confusing mistake but as DS Arnott (Martin Compston) and DC Fleming (Kate McClure) start to look at the circumstances surrounding the incident, suspicion is cast on Missing Persons DI Lindsay Denton (Keeley Hawes) who was driving the vehicle.

Denton is adamant she has been set up, but is the conspiracy real and how far up does it go? Meanwhile Fleming’s home life is disintegrating and Hasting’s (Adrian Dunbar) is fighting to hang onto his marriage after a questionable decision.

While watching this I have never been more confused… and in a good way. At every turn I had to reassess what I knew so far and try to unpick the meaning of various events. A lot of this has to do with Keeley Hawes’ portrayal of Lindsay Denton. She is an absolutely fascinating character. She is intelligent, ruthless, manipulative and largely unlikeable. At the same time there is something pitiable about her and her obvious isolation. She both repulsed me and drew me in and I cannot imagine anyone other than Hawes playing the character.

The audience’s struggle to pick sides is reflected in Arnott’s own confusion when it comes to his dealings with Lindsay and whether she is guilty of some, all or none of the things she has been accused of and just how much she’s hiding.

Compston and Dunbar are once again excellent but McClure really comes into her own in this series. She is given some major moral issues to wrestle with and watching her attempt to bury herself in her work when everything else is a mess shows both her strength and vulnerability. Cottan also becomes a more prominent character and Parkinson is very successful at making him loathsome but strangely alluring.

I have been purposefully vague at the plot of this season because the less you know, the more you’ll enjoy the series of shocking reveals as the conspiracy unfolds. There is a strong link back to season one, which gives the story weight and makes it that much more compelling.

I didn’t think it was possible, but season 2 is even better than season 3. You won’t be able to stop bingeing.

5/5

When a suspect is shot during a chase the armed police team claims they were acting in self defence but the forensics recovered by AC-12 suggest that there is more to the story. The plot thickens further when the team leader, Danny (Daniel Mays) is killed in a scuffle with his other team members and another member of the squad commits suicide.

Meanwhile Lindsay Denton (Keeley Hawes) is being retried on appeal and her cases hinges on her relationship with DS Arnott (Martin Compston) and the possibility that he might have planted evidence. At the same time Hastings (Adrian Dunbar) is questioning his very black and white view of the world as he gets to know the department’s new lawyer, Gill (Polly Walker) and Cottan (Craig Parkinson) and DC Fleming (Vicky McClure) get closer.

As Arnott investigates Danny’s past he starts to suspect a terrible cover up but politics are more involved than ever before and he might have to turn to the one person he’d rather avoid. This impacts on the first serious relationship we’ve seen him in, but he’s not the only one experiencing job related relationship issues.

For the first time the members of AC-12 are forced to question their loyalty to each other and no one is free of suspicion from the lowest to the highest ranks.

Season three of Line of Duty had me at the edge of my seat. All of the threads from the previous two seasons are pulled together and the true horror of how deep and dark the corruption is in the East Midlands Constabulary comes to light. In this season Cottan’s struggle to keep his head above water is at the forefront and although he is truly a deplorable character, Parkinson does manage to ensure that there is some sympathy for the mess he has gotten himself into.

The feature length finale was so gripping that Mr O got sucked in despite the fact that he’d not watched any of the previous episodes. As always the performances are amazing, with Hawes again an absolute standout.

This show just keeps getting better and if you’ve not watched it you need to get right on that right now!

5/5

[SPOILER ALERT] If you have not watched Season 1 of The Good Place it might be best not to read this review. While it doesn’t have spoilers for season 2, it does mention the big reveal at the end of season 1.

With Eleanor (Kristen Bell), Chidi (William Jackson Harper), Tahani (Jameela Jamil) and Jason (Manny Jacinto) discovering that they are in the Bad Place, Michael (Ted Danson) is forced to come clean about the fact that he is conducting an experiment in human torture. He has broken from the classic methods that involve things like boiling oil and opted for something a bit more psychological.

While he thinks his methods are genius, his fellow demons who have been playing the other neighbourhood humans and overseer, Shawn (Marc Evan Jackson) are not best pleased or on board. Shawn grants him one more chance to run his experiment but as the gang keep figuring out what is going on he is forced to keep resetting their memories with hilarious consequences.

It’s not too long before suspicions arise and Michael ends up in the awkward position of becoming rather attached to his humans, forcing him to question his entire existence.

Season 2 of The Good Place builds on the great foundation set by the first season. I wasn’t sure where they were going to go with it but getting to experience the various different flavours of hell for the four humans is very entertaining, as is finding out how Michael ended up starting his experiment, learning more about Mindy Sinclair (Maribeth Monroe) and seeing their relationships with each other grow.

Bell continues to make Eleanor a character who is a terrible human but still endearing despite her flaws. Danson does a great job of showing Michael’s true nature but making his affection for “his” humans believable and Jamil and Harper and Jacinto are hilarious as the narcissitic Tahani, neurotic Chidi and hapless Jason. In the end it is Maya Rudolph who steals every scene she appears in as the Judge.

This is definitely one to keep watching, although I do feel like sometimes the episodes just kind of bleed into each other. That probably says more about my binge watching habits that the show though.

4/5

The formula of American Horror Story is quite unique in that each season uses mostly the same cast but changes the characters and settings and then tells a dark and disturbing tale. Mr O and I watched the first three seasons when they came out but then somehow lost track of the show and stopped watching. A friend recently reminded me of it and as past seasons are on Netflix, I decided to catch up a bit.

The fourth season of the show is set in a 1950’s travelling freak show, owned by glamorous German chanteuse, Elsa Mars (Jessica Lange). The carney world is slowly dying as television becomes the primary means of entertainment. When Elsa discovers a pair of conjoined twins who lived in hiding until their mother was murdered she sees an opportunity to draw in crowds and invites Dot and Bette (both played by Sarah Paulson) to join the show.

The twins prove to be a disturbing influence on the regulars of the show, including Elsa’s faithful best friend, bearded lady, Ethel Darling (Kathy Bates) and her claw-handed son, Jimmy (Evan Peters). Meanwhile a sinister clown is stalking the inhabitants of the nearby town, a local wealthy mother and son have become intrigued by the twins and there’s a conman trying to sell their bodies as museum exhibits. And if that wasn’t enough Ethel’s brutish ex (Michael Chiklis) and his three-breasted wife (Angela Bassett) have rolled into town.

American Horror Story – Freak Show has some really strong core themes. It explores what it means to be a “freak” and that in some ways we are all unusual, whether that is something easily seen on the outside or something that lurks underneath and that if we stopped trying so hard to be “normal” we’d be a lot better at accepting each other. It also looks at the nature of family and loyalty and how the family you are born into may not be the family you belong to.

As always the veteran female actors blow everyone else out of the water when it comes to performances. Jessica Lange is an absolute powerhouse as the bitter, ruthless Elsa, while Kathy Bates is a sympathetic figure as the endlessly loyal Ethel, Frances Conroy is chilling as the overprotective Gloria Mott and Angela Bassett gives Desiree Dupree true heart. Sarah Paulson does really well to give the twins very different personalities in what must have been a very challenging performance both emotionally and physically. Finn Wittrock joins the cast as supremely spoilt and very disturbed, Dandy. His performance is intense, frightening and hard to take your eyes off.

It wasn’t all great though, Emma Roberts’ character was incredibly boring and felt totally unnecessary. I’m not sure why there was a sudden influx of new characters in the last couple of episodes, especially Chester (Neil Patrick Harris) the ventriloquist. There were enough people for Dandy to massacre without adding more. Apart from the freaky clown, it was a lot more weird than it was scary, which might have been the point but I expected to be on the edge of my seat and I wasn’t.

This is a solid addition to the anthology but not my favourite season.

3.5/5

My top 10 doomed TV couples

My top 10 brown eyed actors

My top 10 British comedy series

Top 10 future stars for 2014 – actor edition

My top ten TV bitches

My top 10 TV psycho- and sociopaths

My top 10 flawed TV geniuses

My top 10 Drag Race Feuds

10 female TV characters who kick ass

10 Great TV dads

The FRIENDS tag: TV Shows

My top 10 flawed TV geniuses

My top 10 Drag Race Feuds

TV Review: Killing Eve – Season 1

TV REVIEW: Maniac

TV REVIEW: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina – Season 1

TV REVIEW: Line of Duty – Season 2

TV REVIEW: Line of Duty – Season 3

TV REVIEW: The Good Place – Season 2

TV REVIEW: American Horror Story – Freak Show